The last few days have been really rough on me, emotionally. Granted I’m not the most stable person but, since we’ve met I’ve held it together. But the last few days. My best friend has been treating me like absolute shit all for the sake of “getting pussy”. He refers to the female as though she is saint-like. “she can do no wrong”. He is being ignorant as fuck just to bust a nut.

Meanwhile, i’m working my soul off, just to spend the money i make twenty minutes later on bullshit i don’t need. My mind has almost completely turned to mush and its become impossible to keep track of what day it is let alone remember if I’ve eaten or not. I never feel hungry anymore, but always empty. I have turned myself into a zombie.

It feels like my bestfriend hangs out with me to smoke weed and take my cigarettes, i’m nothing to him. and it seems like i’m a huge burden to you. i can’t seem to text you “Goodmorning”, even though you probably just fell asleep and i won’t hear from you until four-ish. i suppose its the thought that counts. well. what if it isn’t a Goodmorning? because it almost never is. What if i just want someone to text me goodmorning, not that it would change anything.

maybe im supposed to be stronger than this?

        maybe im just a bitch?

                maybe i should just give up on everything.